Four Classes of Affairs

 

CLASS I
CLASS II
CLASS III
CLASS IV
Biblical Illustration David & Bathsheba Samson & Delilah Eli’s sons Abraham & Hagar
Description One-night stand Long-term relationship Multiple partners/ sexual addiction Satisfies a specific marital void
Development Immediate Gradual Impulsive Gradual, focuses on marital void
Emotional Involvement None Intense None Intense, with narrow boundaries. No dating, gifts, plans for marriage
Sexual Activity Single experience; intense, lustful, passionate Only much later – after friendship established Immediate and repeated with multiple partners and increasingly distorted sex Irregular, often without mutual enjoyment
Remorse/Repentance Usually immediate and intense Initially none; only grief for lost relationship Only after acting-out episode; internal tension until another episode is inevitable Regular, but marital void “drives” re-connection
Recovery Can be immediate with forgiveness Long-term process with marital therapy Sobriety first; then individual therapy; marital therapy later Long-term process with marital therapy