Today we will look at Phase #3 of what the affected spouse goes through after the discovery of the affair. The 3rd Phase is Anguish – Grieving the Loss. During the anguish phase, some recovery can begin. But it won’t be steady progress–rather; it will probably be 2 steps forward & 1 step back. It’s a rocky time emotionally, but that’s part of the normal process of grieving the losses; loss of trust, of the once-pure marital relationship, & so on….. But be encouraged; gradually the pain will become less intense & less frequent, & the good times between the down times will lengthen.