A Letter from the “Other Woman”

Author’s note: The following is an adaptation of a letter I received from a woman who, through the grapevine, got hold of an early draft of the manuscript that became this book. She had been romantically involved with a pastor in her church and asked to speak to others out of her pain in the hope that they wouldn’t get sucked into the trap she did.

I believe her story is a good way to get us thinking about this important and painful subject. And, since in most of this book we deal primarily with the straying mate and his/her spouse, it might be good to have a brief word from “the other woman.” After all, it takes three to make a love triangle and, unfortunately, that’s what is happening in many marriages today. The stuff of soap operas is invading the Christian marriage with far too much regularity.

So sit back and hang on to your hat. Allow me to introduce you to “the other woman.”

My husband I married young, when I found out I was pregnant with his child. We were typical middle-class teenagers—we had just gone too far with our passions a few times, and we got pregnant. It happened to a lot of kids we knew.

So we got married. We loved each other and, besides, I reasoned to myself, if it didn’t work out, I could always get a divorce and start again. My mother had done that; plenty of my girlfriends had too, and I didn’t think it was a bad plan.

But then a few months before our wedding, I trusted Christ personally and became a Christian. My husband became a believer shortly after our wedding. As I grew in my faith and started reading the Bible, I found that divorce is not an easily exercised option in God’s eyes. But that didn’t worry me too much since our marriage seemed off to a good start.

Ten years reeled off the calendar as we had three children and established a typical home for them.